So, from the title, i think i made that word up. Insomnocturnalism. I literally cannot describe how annoying my sleeping pattern is - i say pattern, but there is no pattern to it whatsoever.
How did my insomnia/nocturnalism (that's not a word either i don't think, but you get the picture) start? I personally blame the internet. From the age of around 10/11 i've had a computer or laptop. Back then i only had a nokia 3310, and all people really ever did on them was play snake, we never had credit. It wasn't like it is now, 8 year olds have iphones now, ridiculous, how they have (if they have) lives is beyond me with the world being on facebook & twitter now. Atleast i know that up to 11 years old, i knew how to climb trees, play tiggy & hide and seek, now i imagine they just ring eachother and tell eachother where they are!
So, back when i was an 11 year old internet obsesser.. MSN days, i'm sure you all remember it. From that young age, i was completely obsessed. Msn, Habbo Hotel (Loooool! - yes, what a loser), Piczo & Bebo. I never got the hang of myspace or i probably would have had that too. But i was hooked on this online world (a bit like i am now). Now although at the younger ages, 12 - 13, i still went out a lot and played with my friends but after a while i had got used to talking to people online & i felt i needed to be online 24/7.
I genuinely felt that if i wasn't online at any point, i would be missing out on something. Obviously back then, it wasn't how it is now, if i want to (or even dont want to know something) all i have to do is have a quick look on facebook. Wahlah, i know what everyone is eating for dinner, where everyone's been and what not.. Obviouslybecause i do now know whats happening & things like that, its not a problem anymore, but back then, it was huge. I started staying in all the time, even if nobody was online, just incase that one person i wanted to talk too came online.
My life revolved around making my piczo look pretty, making my bebo look pretty, making my msn name look pretty - i could change it up to 5 times a day if i got bored with it or thought someone else's looked better. Was that normal? Did any of you have any of the problems above or feel like you were missing out? & did anyone else have habbo? HAHA!
Did the internet change me into the person i am today? yes. 100%, without the internet, i could not cope - i hold my hands up now, i couldn't. And i probably would get extreme problems with anxiety or something if i had to live without it now. Why is this anything to do with sleeping? From that age of 11 and staying up all night on the internet, my sleeping pattern was messed up from then on. All nighters and sleeping all day is how i've lived since i was 11 years old.
No matter how much i try - sleeping tablets etc.. i seem to fall back into that same pattern of staying up & then having to do an all nighter to sort my sleeping out, for it to then just go back to the way it was. Alot of people i know don't understand it - i don't even understand it, but i've come to terms with the fact that, that is how i am right now. I heard on the news recently that sleep patterns are changing in teens and younger children, i didn't hear why, but i can pretty much bet it's the internet.
It's 6:36 in the morning now, i've been awake since 4oclock yesterday afternoon, i went to sleep before that at 7am yesterday morning. Today, i won't be sleeping until atleast 11pm. Can you become nocturnal? Have i become nocturnal? I always knew i wasn't a morning person, but it seems now, i'm not even an afternoon person & i wake up mid afternoon if i can. I find it easier to sleep in the day.
Was all that writing pointless? Probably, but it would be interesting to know if any of you have the same problem as me, or if you have had it and sorted it. I am hopefully booking my flight between now or friday - so i will be off to sunny zante! I found out today my friend can't come with me though, so i will be doing it completely alone, SCARED! But over there, my sleeping pattern should suit me brilliantly.
Sorry for the boring posts and what not but as soon as i am clear on whats happening i will be back :)